I met up with an old friend tonight–one with whom I’ve shared a great deal of memories, and one with whom my relationship has ebbed and flowed, luckily withstanding the test of time. I’m happy I got to see him tonight, because it reminded me of some things I am ever so grateful for:
Redemption. My friend and I had somewhat of a falling out in college. Admittedly, I was going through a phase–a phase in which I was learning a great deal about myself, many things that I was not quite ready to accept. This friend was in close proximity–a roommate, a singing partner, and a friend that I deemed one of my closest. In that time of need, my way of coping seemed to manifest itself in the form of pushing back and pushing away the ones who mattered the most to me. Meeting up with him tonight reminded me that forgiveness and redemption are two very true and real constructs, ones that allow us to release shame and continue on with our lives, despite our mistakes and flaws. I’m grateful that I am able to practice these two, just as I am able to practice my gratitude for them.
Unconditional love, for it is this idea that is the pathway to redemption, forgiveness, and progress. Without unconditional love for each other–and ourselves–we cannot redeem our faults and mistakes, we cannot forgive one another, and we cannot proceed forward into our futures.
Sleep. God, I am tired, and I am the most tired I’ve been in quite a few weeks. I have been going to bed with this anxiety recently, most likely directly correlated to some sort of convoluted and self-constructed fear. Fear of what, I’m not comfortable saying currently, but the act of practicing gratitude coupled with a night allowing me to practice presence has given me the ability to feel simultaneously exhausted and absolutely comforted by my exhaustion–that tonight’s feelings of tiredness will cradle me to peace, as opposed to wearing me to my limits. So thankful to sleep tonight.
And with that, goodnight.